This morning, my mala broke. It’s a complex feeling when a sacred object such as a mala breaks. It’s definitely something to pause and reflect about, because of the significance and meaning a mala holds. There’s a sadness that something so special has been lost, the letting go of an object that has represented something powerful.

If you’re not familiar, a mala is a sacred string of seeds that mantras and prayers are chanted upon repetitiously with devotion. This is an object that holds very powerful, sacred energy, the blessings of devoted practice creating vibrations of divinity in the object itself. As an object, it represents spiritual practice, devotion, commitment, sacred intention, and divine presence.

The breaking of a mala can mean many things unique to the individual, but mostly it can signify the completion of a cycle, and the release of divine energy.

A brief overview of what is occurring now should give you the sense of why this is an important time for reflecting, listening, and discovery: We are in the midst of Mercury Retrograde (a time to slow down to reflect and review), we are in the season of honoring ancestors and the shift into the dark time of year (through celebrations of Día de los Muertos, Samhain, Diwali, etc), we are beginning to experience shorter days with the seasonal shift (with less daylight comes more exposure to darkness), and we are in the middle of the Sun’s journey through Scorpio (the intense sign of deep exploration of dark waters).

So, if you’ve been feeling pulled towards the darker aspects of yourself, perhaps you can see why. This is part of a greater cosmic cycle that is creating these energetic invitations for you to truly know yourself. To not look away from what shows itself within the darkness. You are not alone in this work. Each of us is invited into the darkness individually and we are all going in together.

The foundation of my sacred work, my divine service in the world, is Love. Through my own personal journey of healing and awakening over many years, I eventually came to the realization that the most foundational aspect of this path was learning to love myself. I saw that wholeness is birthed from the seed of Self-Love. I saw that my ability to be aligned with my purpose and to be in greatest service to others was rooted in the Love I had within myself.

Scorpio is inherently a dark energy, and there is a sacred purpose for the role it plays in our lives. It guides us into rich dark waters, a deeply feeling realm that holds our secrets and fears. It is the energy of passion, of desire, of shadow. While each sign holds its own benevolent and shadow aspects, there is an emphasis on the shadow of Scorpio energy without recognizing its gifts. That’s because it is the shadow and we are afraid of exploring that. This is the time to honor the shadow and the necessary aspect it plays in our healing and expansion into wholeness.

Within the shadows is where the sacred purpose and gifts of Scorpio are discovered.

Yesterday afternoon I opened the door to a small dark shed right outside of my cabin and immediately discovered not only one, but two large rattlesnakes nestled inside. They were absolutely still, peaceful, and asleep, undisturbed by my silent presence. They were cozily wrapped up together, deep in their sleep state. It was a display of undeniable affection. Of snake love.

Once the initial feeling subdued of utter exhilaration that only a rattlesnake can evoke, I noticed myself feeling intrusive, as if I had exposed their hidden intimate experience, shining the light of the sun on what was privately in the dark. Their heads were close together, the larger of the two gently and sweetly resting his head on the body of the other. They read to me as male and female.

They did not stir as I stood above them. I received a lot in the witnessing of these two wild and dangerous creatures entwined together, surrendered into rest, and yet, in their vulnerability they held just as much power as they would were they awake and rattling away. I’ve had many rattlesnake experiences living in the desert, but these loving snakes were a new level of experience. I’ve never witnessed anything like this before.

Full Moons are always an incredibly potent and ideal time to release. They are part of the natural cycle of change, and as the energy of the Full Moon culminates, it gathers all that has been experienced in the last cycle to be seen in its illuminating light. All of that energy cannot be held for long and is not meant to be contained, the cycle must continue where energy releases and the fullness of the moon begins to wane, its energy decreasing and ultimately coming into stillness and darkness once the New Moon arrives again.

The fullness of this cosmic energy is meant to feel like too much, so we can truly confront what needs to be let go of within ourselves, offer it to the Full Moon, and then allow the Moon to take that which has been released out of our consciousness into the growing darkness as the cycle continues to change. We then are entering the next cycle more clear, more free, more aligned with where we are presently in our journeys, no longer weighed down or held back by old energy, old ways.

Today’s Full Moon is more potent than usual- there is a tremendous pressure of change put upon us now.

Many years ago when I first moved to the desert, I was becoming more and more awakened to my truth. I was becoming aware of relationship patterns that still seemed to play out as much as I thought I was growing and healing. I thought I was changing and making better choices, but clearly something was in deep need of my attention that I couldn’t yet see. The more attention I gave to myself for healing, the more I would discover hidden in the depths.

A result of many experiences guided me into the clear knowing that instead of looking for love with another person, it was time to find the love within myself. I made a commitment to myself that I would stop seeking relationship with another as the remedy for what felt out of balance within, and would instead be devoted to building an authentic relationship with myself. I admitted that I wasn’t fully loving myself and that I didn’t know what that really meant.

I was ready to embark on the journey of self-love fully and completely. At that time, I had no idea what the Divine had in store for me in this deeply transformative journey of Love.

It is through the mirror of relationship we see our own truths being reflected back to us.

The energy of this New Moon supports new intentions around your relationships, new beginnings and fresh starts. Think of your relationships with your loves, friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and community. Think of your relationship to nature, to the elements, to animals, and the food you eat. Think of your relationship to yourself. Think of your relationship to the Divine and all that is sacred.

Consider where relationships may be out of balance, and what can be done to bring harmony in these dynamics. Perhaps there is a disproportionate exchange of energy, relationships that leave you depleted rather than feeling inspired and energized. Perhaps you notice an imbalance in how you honor another’s time and energy in the ways they support you. Think of ways you can improve these connections and relationships so that each person is equally giving and receiving.

Fall Equinox is activated by the Sun moving into the sign of Libra. This graceful air sign holds the energy of balance. Libra is represented as the scales in the zodiac. It is the embodiment of grace and harmony. This focus of balance draws our awareness to where we may bring more balance into our lives. Libra looks to our relationships with others and with the self. It is a powerful time to release and shed what is out of balance and what no longer serves from the last season, clearing the path for new beginnings and new opportunities.

We come into balance by aligning ourselves with these natural cycles.

Take time today or in the next day or two to honor this seasonal passage and nurture your relationship to yourself. Find your balance and peace within by attuning yourself with the energy of Fall Equinox, blessing the season ahead in the best possible way.

I’ve created some points of inspiration for you to create sacred energy around Fall Equinox and all it represents.

I know I am not alone in the dissolving of life as I’ve known it. Mine has predominately been an experience of inner dismantling of the self, but it has certainly manifested in my external reality as well. 2019 has been an unprecedented time of collective undoing and my personal experiences really kicked in full force starting last December 2018. Since that time, the universe has continuously worked me to no end. It has been a deeply painful passage filled with grief, confusion, heartbreak, loss, self-doubt, anger, devastation, and struggle to support myself.

In the depths of it, I came to a place of genuine despair. I came to a place of giving up on my guidance and believing I was separate from the Divine. I questioned absolutely every aspect of myself and what this life is and why we are here.

The biggest journey we can take is the one that leads us into the heart, where we learn what love really is. Over many years I have devoted myself to strengthening self-love and learning how to truly love myself. It all began with my arrival in the desert where I unknowingly planted myself on the most expansive healing journey of my life. I found myself guided into deep work opening the heart through different modalities and practices that helped me find true love within.

Through this work I let go of searching for love outside of myself.

The heart opening tools I work with continuously strengthen my capacity for unconditional love and compassion towards others, and most importantly myself. I work with ancient mantras, meditations, daily self-care practices, loving nourishment, and Cacao medicine.

In honor of the New Moon, I shared a Cacao Ceremony as I always do to best work with these natural cycles. Virgo is the archetype of the Priestess, the Healer, and the humble Servant, and I felt these energies in full force in my body as I prepared for the ceremony. I offer these heart-opening ceremonies regularly, and have done so with devotion for the last few years. This particular ceremony expanded my awareness around the power of this offering, and how the authentic embodiment of my personal daily rituals has become my way of being in sacred service to others. What was once a private daily Cacao Ceremony for myself in the beginning has evolved into an act of service for my local community, it is an expansion of my spiritual practice shared to help others in their healing.

Long before Cacao came into my life, I was always creating ceremony daily, ritualizing all aspects of life and aligning with the Divine in all things, which has ultimately become the foundation of all of my offerings. I see how many of my own personal practices and rituals have become my greater work in the world. I see how being in service to myself has expanded into being in sacred service to others. I see how the stillness and peace I have cultivated within myself through my spiritual practices has become a powerful foundation for the sacred containers I create for others.

The first time the role of Oracle was seen in me by another, my entire being lit up in recognition of something I did not know. While I’ve always been intuitive, living in solitude in the desert increased my awareness around my ability to divine higher information and energy, and it was an inner awareness which I’d never spoken about to others but now had a name. The word Oracle was so ancient, so mysterious, so compelling.

My awakening to the mysterious Oracle aspect of myself is a fascinating journey of divine synchronicities that ultimately lead me to discover a brand new Oracle mystery school training program, the first of its kind. After about a year of training and developing my abilities as well as another year of serving as my mentor’s apprentice, I was already underway in doing work as an Oracle, tools and practices well-honed and gently beginning to share divine guidance I received with the world. As someone who had lived for years in desert solitude, and even prior to desert living took to the more introverted side of living and expression, these were significant leaps for me out of my comfort zone.

What is more mysterious on this planet than the Womb? When I first heard about the Womb Chakra, in a single breath something changed within me. I knew the Chakra system, but I had never heard of a Womb Chakra. The mystery of the physical Womb suddenly magnified into something even far more mysterious. The inexplicable draw to know more compelled me to follow a path I knew nothing about initially. I did not foresee myself becoming an initiate of the Womb Chakra teachings and blessed with the ability to facilitate healing to others through this work.

I am drawn into the most mysterious of mysteries- it is my nature. While longtime known spiritual teachings and lineages are full of enough mystery to make my heart sing for lifetimes, there are also new ancient teachings coming forth at this time of great transformation on our planet. The Divine Mystery becomes even more mysterious, as ancient secrets allow themselves to be known again.

It took 30 years for me to begin to live authentically. I am a college-educated woman on an awakened path who began dismantling old structures and beliefs and fully plunging into this work in 2011 when I left behind all I knew and moved from the city to live in an isolated part of the desert in solitude. I found myself deep in spiritual practice, tending to all aspects of living and daily reality on my own - a radical shift from life pre-desert. My healing, self-care, and spiritual practice exists in direct tandem to daily chores, building my work, and supporting myself as I learn continuously how I can best be in service and embody my divine purpose more and more everyday. It's a brand new reality from life as I knew it before, and it's still evolving.

My heart-path is a highly unique and uncharted journey, and it’s as mysterious to me as it certainly appears to others. It requires a tremendous amount of trust, surrender, and devotion. It requires showing up everyday for myself, for my work, for my service to others. And truthfully I am challenged by this way of being in the world every day. I have taken on a lot of responsibility in the name of this heart-guided path. There are no guidelines for me to follow other than my own guidance, and I am learning every step of the way as I pave my own authentic path.

The Eclipses impacted each of us in different ways, and some of us know quite clearly what was dismantled in our lives. It might’ve been a very literal letting go of a person, job, or place. Or it might’ve been more internal emotional experiences of letting go of old beliefs and constructs. For others, maybe it’s totally unclear how the Eclipses impacted your life. And the truth of it is that many of us may not know for quite some time what the impact has been, as it might take the next 3-6 months for the changes to reveal themselves to you in form.

The effects of Eclipses last for the following 6 months, and this particular portal was of life-changing proportion beyond the typical energies. What you released during these Eclipses is permanent. This is your evolution and expansion taking place. You still might be reeling from the process, but do your best to remember this is all for your greater good, truly.

So what happens now that we’re out of the Eclipse portal?

Now, we integrate.

Just a couple of days into this Eclipse portal, my region experienced earthquakes. 3 quakes happened within two days (the strongest measuring 7.1 and 6.4, occurring in Ridgecrest CA, about 150 miles from where I live) and many of us felt the literal shaking of the foundations of our lives. The moment I realized an earthquake was happening the first time (as I was sitting in a healing session with a client) immediately I felt the cosmic perfection of intense and unpredictable life shifts individually and collectively expressed in this way. All of the internal emotional upsets and breakdowns and upheaval that are being felt by so many people being expressed by Mother Earth. As it always goes: As above, so below. I felt the beauty of this interconnectedness of everything.

Naturally, especially so after the second large quake happened the next day, the local focus and conversations turned towards earthquake preparedness. There was an energy of panic, of great concern of more to come. Of not having proper resources, of not being prepared in the face of disaster. Of survival. I found myself looking around my homestead cabin way out in the middle of the desert, wondering what practical measures I might need to take. What I noticed was a shift of focus occurring within me, simply feeling unconcerned for the physical structure and water supply and rushing to fill my gas tank. For myself, the focus naturally shifted to inner preparedness, assessing whether the internal foundations are strong and secure and well-stocked.

And what I noticed was an underlying energetic of peace within me.

Beloved,

We find ourselves in an especially charged time as the Sun takes center stage in the sky. For those of us in the northern hemisphere, Summer Solstice marks the peak of the Sun’s energy. While the days are gradually shortening post-Summer Solstice, the Sun still dominates the next couple of months with the abundance of light and heat showering our days. We also have a Total Solar Eclipse approaching that gives us an opportunity to experience what happens when our planet is totally blocked from the energy of the Sun.

The guidance of the Summer Sun asks us to surrender to its light and its heat. Let the Sun illuminate what needs to be seen in your life and in your heart. As life continues to increase in intensity and overwhelm, let the heat slow you down to take time to tune inward, and be honest with yourself about what needs to be changed in your life that does not align with your truth. This call for surrender is one of the great gifts that the challenges the hot summers brings: The gift of slowing down enables you to rest and reflect. This is part of the natural cycle, to take downtime in the hottest part of the year to both integrate all that has happened thus far in 2019, and to recognize what is no longer serving and needs to be released. By honoring the seasons and shifts in energy, by truly slowing down and finding stillness in the intensity of Summer, you will find yourself able to enter the Fall season with renewed direction, strength, and vitality.

Beloved, 

As it goes these days, there’s a lot of activity in the world right now! A Full Moon in Sagittarius rises tomorrow, June 17th, Summer Solstice peaks on Friday the 21st, and today we honor the fathers in our lives. This is all an emphasis on masculine energy and an invitation to explore our relationship with the masculine.

It can be a common experience for holidays or any kind of nationally acknowledged focus on something to be potentially triggering for us individually. Father’s Day might activate something for you or others close to you that feels uncomfortable. Taken at face value, we look to the Father in our life, who may or not be present for many reasons. Even if present, it might be a complex relationship. For men, the focus of the Father might bring up something difficult internally to process about viewing themselves in this role, children or no children.

For myself, my father passed away 7 years ago exactly, the day after Father’s Day 2012 in fact. So this day indeed holds quite a bit of energy for me, and I have the opportunity to see what comes up for me around my father. Perhaps I’ll find there’s more healing to do around his transition and the circumstances. Perhaps I’ll allow myself to go back to those last moments with my father, where I and my siblings and his wife all surrounded him and held him and witnessed his final breath. Perhaps I will find something new within myself about our relationship. He may have something to communicate with me today. I’m going to give it the space and time to listen and allow myself to receive.

Beloved,

The end of Spring winds are ushering in, clearing the path for a new season to begin. Life is changing at a rapid speed, and with so much being swept up to the surface to be dealt with, it’s incredibly important to remember how to keep steady while navigating the unknown path.

By aligning yourself with the natural cycles of the universe, you’re able to work with continuous opportunities to come into clarity about what isn’t working for you anymore and what it is that you intend to embody moving forward. The Moon cycle supports each of us in this process, and taking a moment to tune in with the New Moon and Full Moon as they continuously come, you continuously come into present time and assess where you are in your journey, what needs to be refined, what needs to be released, what needs to be celebrated. The divine design of the Moon cycle helps you to do just that on-going, because change is the fundamental dynamic we must continuously learn how to embrace in this life.

Isn’t it beautiful to know that with all that changes in your life, that it’s the greater cosmic cycles that you can always count on for support? The daily foundation of the rising and setting Sun, and the 28-day cycle of the Moon moving through her phases are both the embodied examples and teachers of continuous change, yet you are also able to count on them for their steadfast divine support. While you may not know where you’ll be in two weeks from tomorrow’s New Moon, you do know that there will be a Full Moon then who will be there waiting for you wherever you may be in your path! And if this New Moon passes you by without the opportunity for you to connect with your intentions, you can count on another New Moon being there for you in 28 days.